Boyfriend Upgrade

Feb 10, 20152 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Feb 10, 2015

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Tech support for the new ages. I couldn't help but share this one. Author unknown.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated regularly and flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, once upgraded, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention. It then installed undesirable programs such as NASCAR, Fantasy Football, Golfing and Continuous TV. Additionally, Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

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Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML" and try to download TEARS.

Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewelry and Flowers, but remember… over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Man Cave and/or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will provide corrupt data and in most cases download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources)! Also, do not attempt to reinstall and run the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly even when you are running Nagging. Husband also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend DVR, Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,

Tech Support